Before/After (Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader)

Love.

Before you, ‘love’ was just another word. You gave meaning to it. You gave meaning to his life.

Ushijima Wakatoshi never knew what it felt like to love. Before you came along, the only thing he had going for him was volleyball; it was his only priority. The stoic boy didn’t have time to have time for relationships nor did he ever desire to be in one.

But then you happened.

You with your bright eyes and bright smile that could knock the socks off anyone, even someone as stoic as Ushijima wasn’t immune. You had a natural charm that drew him in. You were the only person who didn’t mind coming second to volleyball. You supported his dedication and showed up at all his games even when you were sick. You’d just shoot him a cheeky grin when he reprimanded you for coming to his game instead of resting at home.

Ushijima didn’t smile much but no one could miss how his eyes soften and how he visibly relaxed at the sight of you. He was standoffish and people wondered what you saw in him but you just brushed them off. They didn’t see what you saw in him.

They didn’t see his dedication and devotion to volleyball. They didn’t see the side of him that could make lame jokes and be playful. They didn’t see him in his vulnerable state where he’d want nothing more than to just hold you. They didn’t see the way he loved you.

He loved you. He really did.

He loved that you would never complain about him not spending enough time with you. He loved how you’d randomly show up to his practices with snacks and energy drinks for the entire team. He loved how you’d remind not to overwork himself. He loved how you loved him.

When he was overworking himself, you’d show up to the gym to bring him home. You’d wrap your arms around him and tell him that it was time to go home. He would always oblige and walk home with you hand in hand.
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Love.

After you, the word ‘love’ brought nothing but a bitter taste on his tongue. It used to hold so much meaning. It used to give meaning to his life.

Ushijima Wakatoshi had loved you with every fibre of his being. He was ready to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you. His dedication and devotion to volleyball was nothing compared to how much he had adored you.

But you were suddenly taken from him.

You with your bright eyes and bright smile that had rendered Ushijima breathless. The smile he would never see again. The smile that-

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Ushijima wanted it to stop. He wanted his mind to stop replaying the memories of you. The memories he was once so fond of brought nothing but pain and longing to him now.  

It wasn’t fair.

Why you? You had so much to live for yet your life was cut short. You had brought so much happiness not just to Ushijima but to everyone who was lucky enough to have met you.

If he had known this would happen, he would’ve spent all those hours he did on volleyball with you instead. He would have gladly traded all those hard-earned medals and trophies just to hear your melodious laugh one last time. Oh what he wouldn’t give just to have been able to properly say goodbye to you.

He wanted nothing more than to have just another minute with you to tell you just how much he loved you.

He wanted nothing more than to just see your smile one last time.

He wanted nothing more than to have you tell him you loved him just one last time.